Sex before marriage.

[StarfishDTR]

I have to do a debate in my English class on sex before marriage. I was assigned to be pro, so does anyone have any knowledge on why sex before marriage is ok? Also if anyone has points that I could use to argue against STD's, Pregnancy, etc. post that also.

[yoooo hide]

if you're a virgin on your 19th birthday, you lose.

[Danimal04]

Dangggg that's a topic in High School English for debate these days... I really missed out.

[StarfishDTR]

Yea, we got to choose our own topics and that's what my group chose.

[Morgacht]

Sexuality, and sexual chemistry, is a large factor in whether or not a relationship can be successful long term. If you and your partner are not on the same page sexually ( ie. how often, at the risk of sounding ridiculous - how crazy, what does sex mean to both parties, etc. ) If you and your partner do not fall in line about your feelings on sex it is going to cause large amounts of tension, and will lead to fights in other areas of your life. Now I must ask, how can you know if you're sexually compatible with someone if you don't have premarital sex. This is not to say that you should go out and have sex with every single person you get a chance to, ( if you wish to, go right ahead, you know the risks and rewards and each person can weigh them against each other however they wish ) but you should have sex before you make a lifelong commitment because like everything else you test out in the dating phase; its something that needs to be understood and addressed before you decide to become life partners. ( if you found this helpful and would like to pursue the topic further, or any other topic for debates pm me )

[MichaelMongrel]

Sexuality, and sexual chemistry, is a large factor in whether or not a relationship can be successful long term. If you and your partner are not on the same page sexually ( ie. how often, at the risk of sounding ridiculous - how crazy, what does sex mean to both parties, etc. ) If you and your partner do not fall in line about your feelings on sex it is going to cause large amounts of tension, and will lead to fights in other areas of your life. Now I must ask, how can you know if you're sexually compatible with someone if you don't have premarital sex. This is not to say that you should go out and have sex with every single person you get a chance to, ( if you wish to, go right ahead, you know the risks and rewards and each person can weigh them against each other however they wish ) but you should have sex before you make a lifelong commitment because like everything else you test out in the dating phase; its something that needs to be understood and addressed before you decide to become life partners. ( if you found this helpful and would like to pursue the topic further, or any other topic for debates pm me )

You probably shouldn't be married to someone who will have any beliefs that conflict with your own. So if your stance on sex is to wait, then the person you marry should be a person who has the utmost respect for that.

You know what people often call the act of sex? "Making love."
I believe that sex is the highest gift of love you can give. So if that is true, then sex should not be practiced until you are with the person you truly love, and will ultimately be with for the rest of your life.
Following that, I believe that if you have sex with someone you do not love, you are pretty much lessening the value of the gift of sex to your future husband/wife.

[ReFlex]

You probably shouldn't be married to someone who will have any beliefs that conflict with your own. So if your stance on sex is to wait, then the person you marry should be a person who has the utmost respect for that.

You know what people often call the act of sex? "Making love."
I believe that sex is the highest gift of love you can give. So if that is true, then sex should not be practiced until you are with the person you truly love, and will ultimately be with for the rest of your life.
Following that, I believe that if you have sex with someone you do not love, you are pretty much lessening the value of the gift of sex to your future husband/wife.

Very well written and i completely agree

[PlasTlC]

people marry for sex. people also get divorced for sex. the divorce rate is crazy right now so say that you want to make the world better by not increasing that rate. just have crazy wild jungle sex all the time and stay single. yes this most likely will increase the chances of STDs but who cares, at least you wont be stuck in a marriage because you didnt have the balls to have sex and have a test run before.

also, dont just think of reason to defend your topic, think about what the other groups will bring up like STDs, religion, not having any respect for the opposite sex just so you arent up there with a deer in the headlights look on your face. and i think there are some verses in the bible that you can take out of context if you feel comfortable enough to use that in your debate.

[Tidus]

Not saying its right or anything but you could say that most of the time you have sex, you have a baby. Whomever you are willing to have a baby with, you would probably not have a problem being married to them, I would think. Therefore, if you have sex and then get married, it really doesn't make a difference. However if a girl invites you into her bed and you can't resist, I can't help you there.

[NoNSeNsE]

Well this is definitely an interesting debate topic indeed. Your going to have to focus on some key points, facts, and social as well as internal views on the subject. You gotta ask yourself the question how do you feel about sex before marriage and how do the people around you feel. Statistically speaking 75% of males admit that they have had sex at least once by the age of 16 and 50% of females admit to had having sex at least once. And as you can imagine those percentages rise steadily after young adults leave the adolescent stage. In my opinion many who argue for abstinence are hypocritical, but that doesn't mean that their opinions are any less important. The sex drive is a natural inborn instinct, that means that sex is not just learned, it's ingrained in our subconscious from the time when we were infants, hence the word "Instinct"(well if you ask the famous Sigmund Freud, but in his theory EVERYTHING is related to sex, which I don't quite agree with). Socially it is becoming more and more accepted especially with the main stream media forcing it down our throats. But despite the social views on the issue I believe it comes down to the individual and what the individual is comfortable with. If you want to have sex before your married, more power to you. And if you want to wait until marriage, good for you, you have more self-control/discipline then I do. However I believe that if you do decide your going to have sex, just make sure you wait until you have sex with somebody that you sincerely like and/or love, and that you deeply feel comfortable with. Keep in mind that many relationships while your in high school or college unfortunately don't last. But it's okay to test the waters, and who knows it may help you in the hunt to eventually finding somebody that you are compatible with both on a relationship and a sexual level. Besides my little sister who I tell that she can't date until she is married, I personally can't tell anybody not to have sex before they're married because I would be a down right hypocrite, and I don't believe there is any right for me to do so. But I can say I did wait for that special someone, and I have no regrets about it. Judge me if you want but I did what I felt was right and I feel like I got pretty lucky. But with that being said, One should always weigh the pros and cons and never lose sight that there are many risks out there like STD's and unwanted pregnancy. I hope my input helps you out man, good luck with your debate!

Hit me up on XBL sometime and we can run shit on some noobs in playlist or something LOL.

[Jewjitsu]

sex before marriage is perfectly fine, as long as you use a condom and accept the fact that you might get the girl pregnant, and be able to deal with it if it happens.

[Justin21]

sex is human nature, its what our main purpose in life is to do, is to have sex to reproduce. Now i know some beliefs say wait till your married, which is fine but i dont think you should wait to enjoy something so great.

[dubayx]

I did a persuasive speech on waiting till marriage to have sex and I used 3 points:
-STDs
-Unplanned pregnancy
-The emotional/psychological effects (http://www.teen-aid.org/Abstinence_Education/psychological_argument_for_abstinence_and_commitme nt.htm <-- this page has everything I used)

So this is what you should prepare a counter argument against. Most of a debate is the rebutles.

[Araneatrox]

Simple answer, Yes its awesome.

Long answer, if you are in a relationship with someone i have no qualms with it. 1 Night stands are a little bit different as there is all manner of different things that could go wrong. I myself had a few drunken fumbelings while i was still at college and nothing came of them. However i do know of a friend of mine of the same age who has now got a child with a woman he cannot stand because of drunken sex.

I had a GF of 18 months, she was my first proper GF. i didn't expect to marry her, but we were both consenting adults and we always used protection, so we knew nothing untowards was going to happen. we found it a nice way to destress(Sometimes) and other times it was just for the fun of it. So as long as you do it correctly is it perfectly fine.

In before religious flaming

Highlight this area for my opinion on the matter - May cause offence to Christians
What i dislike about the situation is religious leaders telling people that Condoms do nothing to prevent the spread of STD's. THAT IS FAR WORSE THAT SEX BEFOERE MARRIAGE

[slippyal2]

Most people who wait do it because of religion, not for that special someone. If you are not religious you will feel no guilt for what your body tells you is natural. Just practice safe sex.

[N!TRO]

Shouldnt this be in the off topic section? Kinda random thing to be talking about on a gaming forum

[Araneatrox]

Also... People...

Please learn how to properly break posts into Paragraphs. Walls of text are not fun and if they are broken down it makes it easier and more pleasant to read.


Shouldnt this be in the off topic section? Kinda random thing to be talking about on a gaming forum

Done

[Morgacht]

Quote Originally Posted by MichaelMongrel View Post
"You probably shouldn't be married to someone who will have any beliefs that conflict with your own. So if your stance on sex is to wait, then the person you marry should be a person who has the utmost respect for that.

You know what people often call the act of sex? "Making love."
I believe that sex is the highest gift of love you can give. So if that is true, then sex should not be practiced until you are with the person you truly love, and will ultimately be with for the rest of your life.
Following that, I believe that if you have sex with someone you do not love, you are pretty much lessening the value of the gift of sex to your future husband/wife."



So it is impossible to be in love until you are married? I agree with your first paragraph, despite your attempt at a condescending know it all nature, and you're right that sex is the highest display of love you can show another person. However marriage does not = love. You can be in love with someone without marrying them, and be married to someone without being in love. I have no problem with people who wish to wait for sex, that is their choice. But your main points agree with the point I was making, that if you're not on the same page you will not last in marriage, therefore sex before marriage can be, and typically is, beneficial to a relationship. If, however, you are both strong believers in no premarital sex, then by all means wait. But that still proves my point that to have a happy marriage you must be in agreement on your views of sex. Also, your last point about lessening the value of the gift of sex. Each person crafts their own values, so that makes your point null and void. If someone values their partner being a virgin, and you are not, then obviously you're not on the same page sexually, which is my original point. However, if you value sex as being the expression of utmost love and understanding of another person, which I do, then displaying it to someone isn't lessened by whether or not you have displayed this affection previously

[StarfishDTR]

I like all of these responses, they are really helping :)

@sippyal2 That is one of the topics I will have to argue against and this is basically what I am going to say about religion:

Supposedly god thinks it is wrong. But, do you really think god bases his opinion on a marriage certificate(Legal document)? At what point do you think god would say two people are married? Chances are, its based on the feelings between the couple, and since you feel these feelings long before marriage, maybe god considers two people married long before the law does.

I personally feel like it should be a decision made by the person and that person should not be judged for the decision they choose. STD and pregnancy propaganda is everywhere so everyone knows the consequences they could face.

Also, it teaches you that no person belongs to you. After having sex for the first time it could cause control issues and extreme jealousy which leads to a bad marital relationship or divorce.

I feel as though being on the pro side of this topic will be harder to debate, but with all of your ideas I feel it will be easy to win. Keep them all coming :)


Quote Originally Posted by MichaelMongrel View Post
"You probably shouldn't be married to someone who will have any beliefs that conflict with your own. So if your stance on sex is to wait, then the person you marry should be a person who has the utmost respect for that.

You know what people often call the act of sex? "Making love."
I believe that sex is the highest gift of love you can give. So if that is true, then sex should not be practiced until you are with the person you truly love, and will ultimately be with for the rest of your life.
Following that, I believe that if you have sex with someone you do not love, you are pretty much lessening the value of the gift of sex to your future husband/wife."



So it is impossible to be in love until you are married? I agree with your first paragraph, despite your attempt at a condescending know it all nature, and you're right that sex is the highest display of love you can show another person. However marriage does not = love. You can be in love with someone without marrying them, and be married to someone without being in love. I have no problem with people who wish to wait for sex, that is their choice. But your main points agree with the point I was making, that if you're not on the same page you will not last in marriage, therefore sex before marriage can be, and typically is, beneficial to a relationship. If, however, you are both strong believers in no premarital sex, then by all means wait. But that still proves my point that to have a happy marriage you must be in agreement on your views of sex. Also, your last point about lessening the value of the gift of sex. Each person crafts their own values, so that makes your point null and void. If someone values their partner being a virgin, and you are not, then obviously you're not on the same page sexually, which is my original point. However, if you value sex as being the expression of utmost love and understanding of another person, which I do, then displaying it to someone isn't lessened by whether or not you have displayed this affection previously

Also, marriage doesn't always mean that you love someone. Example, Arranged marriages. Although it may not seem like these occur anymore, they are still very common.


Shouldnt this be in the off topic section? Kinda random thing to be talking about on a gaming forum

Sorry :3

[dexninja]

fkn mormons...

[Joe Fries]

This argument is very religious in nature. Almost too religious.

For this argument I would use the Categorical Imperative (Emmanuel Kant) to test the idea that, if everyone on Earth was to wait to have sex before marriage, would this be a desirable action?

What would happen:
~ An incredible amount of sexually frustrated humans.
~ Forcing a religious view that could conflict with another religious view or strong personal belief.
~ Collapse of the porn industry
~ Collapse or possible rise in strip clubs
~ Marriage becomes less significant because people are now marrying to have sex
~ People find all sorts of loop holes and ways to have sex and then dissolve the marriage immediately.
~ One night stands, STDs, and the like could increase from the amount of promiscuous activity

I could go on forever. Think Prohibition. What happened when they took all of the alcohol away.

[Roastbeef_253]

I didn't read through all the responses, so I appologize if this was already stated, but the belief that nobody should have sex before marriage is more of a religious belief. It the past, there were a lot more ties to families and religions. EVERYBODY was a member of some sort of church. Nowadays, in our more contemporary society, that is not the case. The morals that everyone once held were influenced by the church, not necessarily their own beliefs. They held those beliefs because they were raised in the church, but that is not the case in today's society.

[MichaelMongrel]

So it is impossible to be in love until you are married? I agree with your first paragraph, despite your attempt at a condescending know it all nature, and you're right that sex is the highest display of love you can show another person. However marriage does not = love. You can be in love with someone without marrying them, and be married to someone without being in love. I have no problem with people who wish to wait for sex, that is their choice. But your main points agree with the point I was making, that if you're not on the same page you will not last in marriage, therefore sex before marriage can be, and typically is, beneficial to a relationship. If, however, you are both strong believers in no premarital sex, then by all means wait. But that still proves my point that to have a happy marriage you must be in agreement on your views of sex. Also, your last point about lessening the value of the gift of sex. Each person crafts their own values, so that makes your point null and void. If someone values their partner being a virgin, and you are not, then obviously you're not on the same page sexually, which is my original point. However, if you value sex as being the expression of utmost love and understanding of another person, which I do, then displaying it to someone isn't lessened by whether or not you have displayed this affection previously

I did not intend for it to sound condescending, so I apologize for that.

I just don't understand how you can TRULY love someone that you may not love later on. I've grown up on the belief that true love will last forever. After all, was it worth "loving" that person if you later on decided you did not want to be associated with them?

I just think that society is too obsessed with sex nowadays, and that is one of the reasons having sex before being with the one you truly love is accepted.

But let me ask you this: If sex isn't the highest display of affection to your true love, then what is left to give them that you haven't given to someone previously?

[StarfishDTR]

This argument is very religious in nature. Almost too religious.

For this argument I would use the Categorical Imperative (Emmanuel Kant) to test the idea that, if everyone on Earth was to wait to have sex before marriage, would this be a desirable action?

What would happen:
~ An incredible amount of sexually frustrated humans.
~ Forcing a religious view that could conflict with another religious view or strong personal belief.
~ Collapse of the porn industry
~ Collapse or possible rise in strip clubs
~ Marriage becomes less significant because people are now marrying to have sex
~ People find all sorts of loop holes and ways to have sex and then dissolve the marriage immediately.
~ One night stands, STDs, and the like could increase from the amount of promiscuous activity

I could go on forever. Think Prohibition. What happened when they took all of the alcohol away.

Never thought of it like this. This will work very well in the dabate, thank you. :)